Thursday, April 10, 2008

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

1}Mohammed Aldouri (Iraqi ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road। This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

२}Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
३}George W। Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
४}Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken। What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
५}Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

६}Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
७}Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned,because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
८}Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
९}Emerson: The chicken didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
१०}Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

११}Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
१२}Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
१३}Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

1 comment:

Simply Shannon said...

LOL There are some great ones there! Thanks for the morning laugh.