Monday, February 18, 2008

This am I sat in the chair you see having my morning coffee and cig. I was so enjoying the view, smells and sounds around me. It seemed as if overnight te snow melted and it was warm out.....I notice the buds on the tree that seemed so far from sight the day before...I watched the fog rise above the river and disburse right beore my eyes...Dare not I blink for I might miss something. Tomorow am shall be my last day here for awhile.....The owner comes home! Drat I was beginning to enjoy my self, actually I have been the whole week. I don't want to go home....I like being by my self- Toilet seat down...Paper rolls the way I like farts but my own to deal with. I really want my own place....after more than my whole life of living with some one....and never living on my own....I want to experiance that. It may sound strange to some but I went from my parents house when I was 15 to my sister's....and when I turned 16 it was with {J}. He was young to; now as I look back ,17 and need I say much sweeter then to me than now. We seemed to have a lot back then to hold us together, Now we seem to have just "habbit" of being together all these years....I want to leave...but yet I want to stay. When I think about the reasons for leaving...indepent...dancing...skinning dipping....hottub...romance. Going to a hotel and having some one join me in the pool, hot floor, sitting by a campfire at night, watching a sunset....taking acruise....having a second home, the wanting outways the staying...Don't get me wrong I love {J},,,but after 30 years its gets to be the love of family...not of a lover if you get my drift. And as much as his stuborn ass refuses to see this right now.... He knows I am right. Hummm so what chapter in my life will be next? Things that makeyou go hummm......Happy Trails!!!

No comments: