Sunday, January 14, 2007

Yadda,,,Sunday


Today in the Great North East, I awoke rather late than I planned,,,up at 9am and need to be out the door by 9:50 and get to Jenny's,,I promised her I would tidy her home before her guest arrived at 1pm. As always when I am running late {J} never falls to set me back another 10 minutes.,, I tell him when i am taking my shower,,,in hopes that if he needs that room he will go in and then it is mine till I leave,,,and he always waits till the crucial part of my time to interrupt me,,,,if he would have gave me 10 more minutes I would have been done,,,all I ask for is 50 minutes in the bathroom in peace,,,God how I wish we had 2 bathrooms,,,but even if we did I know he would have to get in the one I am in,,,UGH.,,,I was 45 minutes late to Jenny's,,,When I went out side my steps had a sheet of ice on them,,,so did my blazer. I had no scraper,,,I called {J} on the phone asking him where the ice scrapers are that he put away,,,they could be,,,out in the shed,,,maybe the attic stairs,,or in the front room of the hall,,or maybe in the green blazer or the trunk of the car,,,I said OK,,,and used a charge card and waited for the ice to melt,,,thought that was easier than searching. When I got to Jenny's I told her about my not being able to find my ice scraper,,,She bought me a good one after church. She is such a sweet person. I have just a few more days before my cruise,,I can't wait to get on board and relax,,,and have my very own bathroom. I also hope there is a heat control in my cabin,,I am jacking that to 80. And I am almost completely packed,,,just need to work on which shoes to bring,,,I put together 14 pairs,,,and just need to down size now,,that will be the hard part. Certain outfits I gotta have the right gear,,it's a chick thing. I will keep a log on my trip,,,with all my daily doings. It is going to be such fun. I checked with every one about going horse back riding on the beach at one of the Islands,,,I thought that would be such fun---but out of 12 people no one was game,,,so maybe I will meet people on the cruise that want to do that with me,,,or one of my nephews. I am a little bit leery on the snorkeling bit,,,stingrays and all. There will be tons of things to do,,,the best part is not setting the alarm clock. As the hours click down I know I will forget something, Looking forward to Thursday,,,I plan a siesta at 2pm,,,,can't wait----Happy Trails!!!!===========================================
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Telemarketers suck big time.,,,,,,, Here are some proven ways to rid your life of these assclowns for good...1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
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A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation." "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on. "The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again." What was that for?" he complained. "Your dog called last night."


4 comments:

midgie said...

dont forget to bring your cell phone so j can call you and ask you were the suger is............

Lady Luck said...

just to tell u that I changed the address of my blog. new one is still-havent-found.blogspot.com

Helena said...

Midgie- Unfortanetly you can not call,,I will be out of the country and cell charges are too high,,I had a friend that used their cell to call a friend when they were in Germany,,,His bill for a week was $900--I do not and can not afford it. Do not call me--Email me At the Address I sent you and a few other friends..Thanks

Helena said...

Lady Luck- Thanks for sending me that I will change it in my post :>)

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