Sorrow

As stated on the post of 4/24, The "home" situation really sucks. Wednesday I went up to the hospital to be with my patient. I have taken care of her for seven years, she feels like family. She treated me like her daughter and told me numerous times she wished her daughter could be like me. I explained to her, how not every one is the same. {If you would have know her daughter you could see that she is mentally not all there.} The nurses told me they could get nothing down her and also she has a blood clot in her leg..{ wonder if that is from hours on hours days on days just being put in a wheel chair and not allowed to get up and taken for a walk.} I got her to eat a little and she was responding to me. I left after awhile so she could rest before her sons came to see her. I drove the 45 minutes back to my kneck of the woods and out of the big city. I had to stop at her great nephews. He called me from Florida and asked me to check on his rabbit. The bunny lives in the attic- free range rabbit I might add. I wasn't sure the last time the rabbit ate, so I bought it lettuce and carrots. He told me just give it some stale bread. Rabbit was fine. I went to the gym and worked out,,,my patients daughter in law called me,,,said she is heading out quick. I told her I am on my way back up. I called Linda to see if she could work for me on the next day,,but she had a dentist appointment and maintness needed done on her car--it could not be put off till the following week,,,(maybe I could schedule my death then). My patient was very close to me, like a grandmother. I told her don't worry about it and hung up. I raised back to the hospital, now she is on #10 ox0gen, morphine has been given, and unresponsive. I try to relax her by holding her hand,,,moisten her lips, She has a mask on and its very hard to breath. She gets a worried look on her face and she can tell she is resiting something. I reassure my self that I do not smell death, as I just did the week before. Her daughter in law notices after awhile that I am there she seems relaxed more..,they decide to go home at 11pm for a nap. I ask them please say goodbye to her...She will be here when we return, she's pulling through it already. I leave at 12am...I have to get up at 5ish. I drive home in total thick pea soup fog....took me a little over a hour to get home.....I arrive at 1:15am.....She died at 1:30am. May she rest in peace.Mrs. C.