Friday, April 13, 2007

Small snack

I shall post my Friday's Feast later on today. Things have been hectic as usual to say the least. From Thursday to Saturday it's crazy for me,,,fun but crazy. This here {again} is my favorite customer on the mail route. Enjoy the Jokes....I shall be back later,,,,Happy Trails!!!!&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in>> D.C..>>>> One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida.>>>> They go with a White House official to examine the fence.>>>> The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,>> then works some figures with a pencil.>>>> "Well", he says, "I figure the job will the job will run about $900:>> $400 for material, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.">>>> The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then>> says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew>> and $100 profit for me.">>>> The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or fugure, but leans over to>> the White House official and whispers, "$2,700">>>> The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other>> guys!">> "How did you come up with such a high figure?">>>> The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you,>> and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.">>>> "Done!", replies the government official.>>&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
> Tennessee > > The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so >he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her >into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee >and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much >would you take off?" > > > The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my >earrings." > > > > > Alabama > > > > A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos >for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering >under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. > > > "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of mile s back up the >trail," the successful hunter replied. > > > "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they >inquired. > > > "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to >steal Henry!" > > > > > Louisiana > > > A senior at LSU was overheard saying... "When the end of the world >comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather >be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than >in the rest of the civilized world. > > > > > Mississippi > > > > The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said >to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the >parking lot!" > > > Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" > > <>> The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got his license >number." > > > > > > Georgia > > > > A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75. The trooper >asked, "Got any I. D.?" > > > The driver replied, "Bout whut?" > > > > > > North Carolina > > > > A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of >the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and >one behind it. > > Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene >as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked >the fellow what the problem was. > > The man replied, "I have a flat tire." > > The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" > > The man responded, " When you break down they tell you to put flares >in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make sense to me >neither." > > > > And this from South Carolina > > "You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard >of anyone retiring to the North!

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