Saturday, January 06, 2007

Made it,,,to Saturday that is


These last 2 days have been crazy in general for me. I worked on that new route,,which is over burdened with tons of mail. And at a lot of mail boxes,,they are like in a ditch...no smooth approach. I cannot believe they serviced these boxes. You are totally running your truck and you body. There needs to be a smooth approach to the box and beyond. I can not wait for this to get fixed. The weather here has been crazy,,,Warm,,in the 50's and it was 60 on Friday. Usually I am cross-country skiing by now. This is very strange,,it doesn't allow germs to freeze,,or the plants to go to sleep for the winter. If this keeps up we will be harvesting are fall fruit and vegies in may. Very strange weather. On another note {J} has been sick with the stomach virus. He is on the mend now. Also Bingo has been very sore,,his back right leg he can't put any pressure on it,,,He goes to the doggy doc today,,,and me I head back to another tour of postal duty...Thank God it's Saturday--The fun crew is on--The laid back, joking and good fellows. Saturday breakfast among friends. Actually it is like casual Saturday----Mostly the same crew but with different attitudes because a few of the week crew are gone. Enjoy the Day....I am racing threw it..So I can get to the "home " and help my patient there---Happy Trails!!!############################################
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Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friendso get yourself a dog."

2 comments:

Rose said...

I taken it you're a mail delivery person? What's with the jokes in the posts? LOL

Helena said...

Hey Rose,, I wear many hats as they say. Mail delivery is on of those,,I have been doing that 13 years,,part time. And the rest of the time I specilize in Home care with geriatrics and the home bound. I post jokes because I enjoy humor. They are at the end so those that don't care to read them can skip them :>) Helena

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