Sunday, September 24, 2006
I have entered the snapdragon stage of my life,,,,,Part of me has snapped and the rest is draggin. I awoke early this am only to be injured in my walk to the kitchen. I have this big ceramic cow about 9 inches tall and 12 inches wide that I use as a door stopper. It is black and white and looks like it is carved out of wood. I actually thought it was wood when I bought it. I found out different when I broke part of it's chin when it fell. But if you stand it up right you don't even know it has a defect, so I keep it. Any way as I was walking past it..I must have lifted my left foot directly under its chin and cut my toe up. I lost the nail and its a mess. Blood every where. Not a good way to start the day. I hope it gets better. Heading to the gym. Hoping it doesn't start bleeding in my sneaker. Then it's off to check on my patient. A busy day. Won't get home till close to 7pm,,,and need to clean and do laundry. This is going to be a crazy week. Doing the mail all week and racing up to the hospital. Hope she has been eating. Shall update more later. Also Margaret will be down this way with Andrew and Mike and not sure if I will get to see them which really bites. Haven't seen Andrew in a year. He has stayed out in Minninsota for his first year of college. Hope I get to see him...Now the church bells are ringing and the dogs are howling so I take it as a sign to get moving----Happy Trails!!!!#####################Touche!An "extremely" unattractive, mean-acting, rudewoman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids.The Wal-Mart Greeter does his thing and then asks,"Are they twins"?The ugly woman says "No Jackass, the oldestone, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. "Why?....Do you really think they look alike, you idiot?""No," replies the greeter, "I just can't believeyou got laid twice."###########Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.Female..... Any part under a car's hood. Male.... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.Male.... Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.Female... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes. AND;He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you?He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?She said . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay? She said . . They don't have timeHe said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?She said . . . They already have boyfriends. She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?He said . . . A widow.He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.