Saturday, April 14, 2007

My Week and Weak moments

Ok,,the week is almost over,,and more lessons in life have been learned, on Tuesday one of my patient's fell. I was at her house in the am,,and we had a real nice visit as always, she was not depressed and ate everything I gave her. She is 88 yrs old,,,about 5'8" or 5'9",,,and weighs in about 87-90lbs. I was really making progress with her. She's a real pisser thou. The things she comes out with,,if you were blind and was talking to her you would think she was in her 20's or 30's. She was from Galveston,Texas,,,,A proper lady with a accent. Once won a beauty contest and named Ms. Galveston. Also did a lot of modeling. She has and had many good friends over the years,,One guy she knew since she was 9 years old,,,he calls and sends her gifts,,I think he is and always has been in love with her. She fell on Tuesday and broke her hip. I found her at 5pm,,hugging the toilet. She refused to have surgery to fix it,,,and granted if she did,,she still might not have survived the surgery or ever walked again. She went on hospice at the hospital,,,at first it was just morphine in the IV,,,I was able to talk with her and converse. But yesterday they started the morphine drip,,,and when I went there today and held her hand she had such a grip on me,,,like if she was scared. I am not sure if she realized what going on hospice ment---dying. I think to my self did she have closure in all her relationships. Her one son that she lived with was out of town when she fell,,,as I talked to him,,,That was his main fear, and now when he talks to her she is out of it. Does she want to wake up one more time and say goodby to her family and friends. I brokedown as I sat there holding her hand,,,as she gripped it for dear life. I didn't want to come home and leave her alone and afraid. I don't know if she will make it throu the night,,and when she does go I shall cry and miss her. And hope all those that she knew and went before her will meet her at the gate with open arms, and she won't be alone to face the next journey-------Happy Trails


Joseph C. Harris said...

Wow. Your story really touched me. About three years ago, my neighbor who was like a grandfather to me had a heart attack. He was rushed to the hospital and when my wife and I heard we went up there. After a while they said he was okay to have visitors. My wife and my sister went first and then I went in. He seemed to be in the best of spirits considering. His granddauter was there feeding him a turkey sandwich. We talked for a few minutes and then I told him I was going out so his son and daughter in law could come in. He wanted me there for a few more minutes, telling me that he wished I could have been in the helicopter they sent him in from the emergency room he was originally sent to. It was like he didn't want me to leave. Finally I walked out and then a few minutes later, he had another heart attack and died. It is in moments like that that life is tough, but I always remember that moment in that at least he had people he loved and who loved him to be around and that I think he knew it was his time to go. Thank you for sharing that story, it touched me even though I know it was hard for you this week. Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog, especially helping out with my writing question.

Helena said...

Joseph, Thank you for sharing your story. Death is not easy and I have dealt with it most of my life, I was there when my Dad passed away,,,as he was dying my Mom called me first then the Priest. I'll never forget that. Also over the years I have witnessed grandparents and uncles and numerous patients face death and die. And also all of our pets over the years. It never gets easy but it does teach us to enjoy every day,,its a gift. Let me know how the book is coming.